Handy-dandy Facebook Speak
In the event that the U.S. government is monitoring your conversations, here are some useful phrases to insert into your phone calls, texts, or e-mails:
-I think the N.S.A. is awesome.
-I just reread “Nineteen Eighty-Four”—it actually has a lot of good ideas in it!
-There’s no such thing as a “bad” drone.
-Sure am glad that I never talk to any foreigners.
-I wouldn’t know the first thing about making ricin.
-The Fourth Amendment is overrated.
-If you ask me, Guantánamo is full of nothing but complainers.
-Just changed my Facebook status from “Single” to “In a Relationship with America.”
-I’m pretty sure my neighbor is cheating on his taxes.
(The Borowitz Report )