Historically Used In an Exclusive Sense, This Blog Aims to Explore What God's Up To Inside & Outside the Institutional Church

Fun Summer Reading

“How to Profit From the Coming Rapture: Getting Ahead When You’re Left Behind”

Are you worried about how to survive after being Left Behind™? Then this book is for you! The “Levys” (actually Weiner & Davilman) have written an investment guide for the really hard times coming after the Rapture™ complete with Tribulation™ pointers for investments and even recipes – “you’ll learn how to earn extra cash – and exactly what kinds of supplies and weapons to spend it on. We’ll teach you how to start your own business and make it work –even as your customer base (anyone who wasn’t Raptured away) is dying off by the millions…it will be a time of turmoil…bloodshed…and natural catastrophe such as the world has never seen. But it will also be a time filled with potential, exploding with unique opportunities for the smart investor and the bold entrepreneur” (from the Forward).

A few of my favorite investing ideas:

PerPETual Care: Post-Rapture™ pet care policies that offer care and feeding for “un-raptured” pets for those who leave them behind.

Heavenly Rewards: Photos (wallet sized or DVD) of your loved ones as they are raptured away into the sky to remember those cherished last moments together.

Motel 666: Offering a hellishly cheap motel for budget travelers!

Israel: Invest in everything and anything!

Alright, by now I hope you realize this book is a parody but it is a very humorous look from the outside at the silliness that poorly written best-sellers such as “Left Behind™” promote. I certainly believe that the Lord “will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead” but I do not hold to the Darby / Dispensational / Scofield / Lahaye ™ escapist end-times, sensationalist scenario. The church’s mission and the world’s great need require better. Best of all enjoy the book from your local library for free! 


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