New Ecclessial Verbage
Or being translated into common Americanese – New “christianese” phrases (borrowed from Rodney Clapp):
Egocessory prayer: A public prayer centered more on the pray-er and his or her eloquence and cleverness than on God.
Pewburn: Posterial malady of those who hustle from church immediately after the service ends. “The Gleasons were out of here so fast this morning they got pewburn.”
Bulletinnitus: The dazed, ear-ringing sensation you get when the announcements for the day drone on and on.
Osteentatious: Unrelentingly upbeat. “Pas tor Greg was a little too osteentatious for that occasion, don’t you think?”
Falter call: A conclusion of a sermon or exhortation that falls flat, ending anticlimactically or ineffectively. “It was a strong sermon, but it limped to the end with that falter call.”
Flightgeist: A reflexive inclination to flee to the customs of the past while complaining about how the church is capitulating to the zeitgeist.
Megalurch: A very large but very static and complacent congregation.
Hysterlector: One who engages in overly dramatic readings of scripture.
Baptism by ire: The rookie pastor’s initiatory encounter with a parishioner’s wrath.
Ecclesiometrics: Various measures, usually dubious, by which churches quantitatively gauge faithfulness and success in their mission.
Catch 23: An unwanted occurrence that turns out to be serendipitous because it makes those involved turn to the Lord as their Shep herd.